tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-77940815358051521392024-03-13T15:13:57.094-07:00Chris GlabaAnonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13341869068636481877noreply@blogger.comBlogger10125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7794081535805152139.post-88410690358238614392016-11-23T18:58:00.004-08:002016-11-23T18:58:29.823-08:00Be right back<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-US;">It’s been
difficult year, a not very good year and unfortunately I’m not in any of a
better situation. Originally being told 1-2 years and now 4 to 6 weeks. It
really makes you sit and think, of course it does. It isn’t human, it not sane
for us to hear language used like this, we’re humans we don’t talk about death,
we embrace life, constantly learning.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-US;">I have come
to terms with the facts of the liver failing slowly, the bleed on my bran and
fluid. I’ve accepted my outcome, this doesn’t mean I want it, or think single
mindedly this is how it’s meant to be. You never know I could be a very lucky
son of a gun and have the cure could and hopefully be around the corner but
till then, it’s the present which matters the most, not forgetting of course
the future. Don’t worry all my fingers and toes are definitely crossed, STAY
POSITIVE. Presently though I need to have priorities and that’s with my family,
the very little energy I do have needs to be focused on them. I’ve always tried
not to let anyone down and come across as honest (sometimes a little too
honest), trustworthy and reliable person but its taking all my energy out of me.
I want to spend the day with you, and hear everything you’ve got to say, you have
a problem, I want to make It better, but this is a message to say sorry, I can’t
anymore which kills me off more than the cancer.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-US;">I’m asking
you, and please don’t be offended just to give me some space over the next
month. I need the emptiness to, I don’t know, sign off my own bucket list
mentally… maybe? If that’s spending special moments with my family than that’s it.
I was always worried about writing this because you end up sounding like ungrateful
toss pot. You, yes you have made the last couple of months easier, you’ve made
me smile in dark times, you made me cry with happiness rather than tears of
sadness. You made me forget about being ill most importantly.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-US;">But, now
all I want is the normality of waking up and making it through the next 12
hours pain free which even now is more a challenge then it ever was.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-US;">So I’m
sorry If I don’t get back to you Facebook, via text or phone call, or meet you
in the pub next week but I simply haven’t got the energy anymore, physically or
mentally. I’ll try! <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-US;">I hope you
understand.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-US;">Medical
update, I had to have 4 units, full body worth of blood transfusion to get me
back on track last weekend. Wasn’t the best, clinic is booked in for mid-December
to arrange an action plan or palliative care, who knows?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-US;">Thank to
everyone who’s been involved/attended mini festival & the wedding, it was
perfect. You me made so happy, so much positive energy. I love you for it.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-US;">If there
any major medical news I’ll update the blog, otherwise for now I’m signing off.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
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<span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-US;">Peace out,
yours, Glaba.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13341869068636481877noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7794081535805152139.post-18332018614178902972016-10-30T14:42:00.000-07:002016-10-31T04:10:30.633-07:00Well this is a bit of a headacheHad banging headaches this week so got called into Christies for emergency scan on the brain only to bloody find cancer has now spread to my brain (yes, i have one), so the three options are...<br />
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
1) Chop it out... no way, too many complications so this isn't happening.</div>
<div>
2) Radiotherapy or Chemotherapy - need to weigh up my options in terms and pro's and con's. I will be speaking to my consultant this week.</div>
<div>
3) Ride the storm and see what happens, either going to die of liver failure or seizure... both painless which to be honest at this moment in time seems like the option of choice however nothing is set in concrete.</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
I did get asked the questions would I be like to resuscitated if I did go, which I answered no, however had a conversation with some of my incredible mates which turned me round to say yes. You know who you are and I love you to bits.</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
So, waiting on further results, i'll keep you posted. As for now I'm off on my fake stag do in York, wish me luck.<br />
<br />
Oh and the life expectancy is around 6 to 8 weeks apparently...<br />
<br /></div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
Glaba x </div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13341869068636481877noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7794081535805152139.post-33660351071513267462016-10-17T10:28:00.000-07:002016-10-17T10:28:00.801-07:00Can I borrow £20 quid mate? I'll pay you back in 3/4 months, promise.Not sure where really to start. You always got told in school you need a start, middle and end. I'm going to break the rules and skip to the end.<br />
<br />
<div>
This chemotherapy has knocked me for six. Bed bound for a couple of days. They sent me home with white blood cell boosters to fight it a little the chemo side effects, however they only really gave me major side effect such growing pains and achy joints, so that one sort of back fired.</div>
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<br /></div>
<div>
I'm now bald, lost my hair and lucky not my eyebrows - that would be like Alan Partridge losing Lynn - never going to happen. Yes it true, you lose you pubes first which has lead my mum telling me was a tramp and should rinse the bath out after I used it, it got that bad.</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
I quite often get fevers, temperature all over the place which is highly critical on chemo - just need to monitor my temperature all the time really.</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
I struggle even more walking distances, so UBER is now my new best friend.</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
So, now latest visit to Christies today didn't go so well. I think the best way to explain this is in a list;</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
1) Bloods are fine, neither here or there - they generally can't tell to much</div>
<div>
2) Due to my 'quality of life' being poor, the consultant has suggest to take a two week break from all chemo.</div>
<div>
3) Once completed my 2 week break go back for a CT Scan</div>
<div>
4) Finish the last course of this chemo, so would be a totally of 3/3 I've done then</div>
<div>
5) Wait for results from the CT Scan... now just go with me on this... it would be a <b>miracle</b> that the cancer gets any better. </div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
A MIRACLE. <span style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: arial, sans-serif-light, sans-serif;">an extraordinary and welcome event that is not explicable by natural or scientific laws and is therefore attributed to a divine agency.</span></div>
<div>
<span style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: arial, sans-serif-light, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div>
<span style="background-color: white;"><span style="color: #222222; font-family: arial, sans-serif-light, sans-serif;">5) Then we go onto three options available to me, ONE another type of chemo, again very brutal or TWO trial drug which COULD be a placebo due to the stage it is at in clinical trials. THREE - stop chemo and not suffer with a poor quality of life anymore.</span></span></div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
Which ever route 1,2 or 3.... will only extend my life 3 months + the length of chemo. I need to have think first; this quality of life is pretty poor/shit and I'm currently thinking of no longer doing the chemo.</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
So yes, my predicted life time now is 3-4 months left in me.</div>
<div>
Shit news I know but you can look at this two ways, fucking crack on, meet and see all of you as much as I can or sit in my bed act all depressed and do nothing with what I have left.</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
So come on, lets go for a beer. I'll get you back in 5 months I promise....</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
P.S Please don't cry if you see me, it sets me off.</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
Always available for a hug.</div>
<div>
Yours,</div>
<div>
Glaba</div>
<div>
</div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13341869068636481877noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7794081535805152139.post-47753017531455157062016-09-05T09:57:00.000-07:002016-09-05T09:57:02.136-07:00Its back!Cancer is back... pretty badly in my liver, which is the worse place it can be. Very damaging apparently, pretty fucked in all honestly.<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
The answers to your obvious questions... No, I don't have a time limit off the consultant, no one knows. I don't know if it's curable. I quote from my consultant "we're now chancing it on luck". They can't get definite answers which is understandable because it's a rare form of cancer.</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
I start a brand new chemo for the next 9 weeks, which is followed by a huge list of side effects. Once this is completed I'll have another scan and update for you then.</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
I've got bleeding on the stomach again and very little energy, so just bare with me.</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
<br /></div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13341869068636481877noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7794081535805152139.post-57753078930101316782016-07-18T11:54:00.002-07:002016-07-18T11:54:37.226-07:00Quick updateOver 6,000+ this blog has been read, mental.<br />
<br />
Anyway, keep suddenly having seizures, don't really know why so going for MRI scan this week.<br />
<br />
Still thought, Cancer NIL - Glaba 1.... well up to now.<br />
<br />
Yours truly,<br />
Blogging wankerAnonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13341869068636481877noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7794081535805152139.post-23202293306944595092016-06-17T05:31:00.003-07:002016-06-17T05:31:44.859-07:00Not going just yetFinally got hold of my consultant and sat down with him.<br />
<br />
I'll keep it simple, basically I've been told that I'm in remission (in control) of my tumour. It hasn't disappeared from my lungs, liver or kidneys however it's a microscopic size which is controllable in a sense, so there is no need for chemo just regular 3 weekly maintenance drugs which is followed by a CT scan every 3 months just to keep an eye on it. As the doctor put, so called 16 months has now been reset, so it could be 3, 4, 20, even 30 years.<br />
<br />
I do still have a huge tumour in my stomach which they can't remove and unfortunately it will be the death of me one day, or could come back aggressively.<br />
<br />
But I'm not planning on going anywhere soon, I now intend to get back to reaching 30 and taking my nieces and nephews to Glastonbury when they're 18 years old.<br />
<br />
It's been a bit mental this whole journey and it would of never got to this point without YOU, my friends, my family and Naomi.<br />
<br />
All YOUR positivity has kept me alive...<br />
<br />
So thank you.<br />
Yours truly,<br />
Blogging wanker, aka Glaba<br />
<br />
If you're affected by cancer, check out www.macmillan.org.uk or www.onefortheboys.com<br />
<br />Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13341869068636481877noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7794081535805152139.post-52087851696468786882016-05-24T10:28:00.002-07:002016-05-24T10:28:34.395-07:00Results! <div class="MsoNormal">
Finally had the big old CT results yesterday. After waiting
nearly 4 hours for a 5-minute window with wasn’t my consultant. This doctor I
had never met before handed me a piece of paper full of medical jargon which
seem a little unrelated to what I was originally told, it basically missed off
my kidneys and was very vague. It also stated that my lungs had suddenly no
spread of cancer in either of them after being told by separate doctor in Wythenshawe
that they were riddled after going into A&E a while back.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
They did have positive news about my liver function, saying
it had reduced but still present.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
To be honest, the 5 minutes with this consultant did go some
what well but I felt a little confused afterwards. I felt let down by the details
they told me and I’m probably going to go back for a second opinion or look
into going private if I can’t.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I don’t want to confuse anyone with the news I put out, this
cancer I will never be able to get rid off. It more of a matter of controlling
it and making my life as comfortable as possible. I plan to go back to work
eventually which is a positive.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Just taking each day as it comes for now though. If you’ve
got question, I’m happy to answer but please don’t bombard me!<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
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Just wanted to say a huge thank you to my family and friends
recently, everyone has been super positive and massively helps, so again, thank
you.<o:p></o:p></div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13341869068636481877noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7794081535805152139.post-44274580620012107812016-04-20T02:05:00.003-07:002016-04-20T02:57:11.724-07:00Cracking on through May - non stop chemo machine!The word cancer, forget the medical. It's a reminder to tell you that in my case there isn't a happy ending, on a daily, hour, minute, second basis.<br />
<br />
You live with the idea off...<br />
I won't have children.<br />
I won't reach the age of 30.<br />
I won't travel the world.<br />
I won't see my niece, nephews grow up to be old and take them all to Glastonbury when they're 18. I have fell in love with a girl that has to go through the pain of watching me cry, get angry which makes you unintentionally push her away so you don't want to cause harm to her even though she is literally my rock. I love you Naomi. <br />
<br />
The bucket list doesn't exist, holidays to disney land are dreams of Hollywood movies and TV. <br />
<br />
So I ask you, what is the point? No actually, let me ask you instead why suffer for 16 months, why go through the pain and drag close family and friends through it... I'm sure you have a reply, and a very good one as well. <br />
<br />
But I'm afraid, your reply might be the best, or make me uplifting and great for a day or two, but I still have to wake up knowing that all the above hasn't changed for one single second and thats fact till a miracle happens. <br />
<br />
One thing I can take from this is I get to see all my friends and family, you're the ones keeping me going if not alive. Every one has been incredible to me, I just want to say thank you. <br />
<br />
Now back to the medical side; <br />
Bloods are good<br />
Swelling has gone down, but I won't know anything further till I have my CT scan and final bloods at the end of May, so my next update will follow then. <br />
Down to 11ish stone due to catching flu, lowest I've even been, need to put on weight otherwise will need a permanent feeding tube down my nose and throat which isn't nice.<br />
<br />
"Stay positive" xAnonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13341869068636481877noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7794081535805152139.post-84497468889823599332016-03-24T02:30:00.002-07:002016-03-24T02:31:01.401-07:00Chemo starts againJust to keep you posted, I had a meeting with the consultant and dietitian on Thursday, their feedback was good on the bloods and kidney/liver function - 'responding' well to the chemotherapy.<br />
<br />
Lungs no change, still struggle to breathe from time to time, mainly because of the morphine I'm on for pain relief.<br />
<br />
Start next cycle of chemo on bank holiday Monday, so that week I'll pretty much either be in agony, asleep.<br />
<br />
<i>One of the reasons that I write this blog is so people don't talk constantly to me about my cancer, I'd appreciate it if you didn't mention it when you got in touch.</i><br />
<br />
Also, please in politest way possible, don't send me articles, information or anything material regarding <i>cures for cancer</i>, I know people mean well however its just as damaging as talking about it. I've got a two consultants, dietitian, district nurse, MacMillan nurse, GP and nutritionist all feeding me their sound advice on a weekly basis. I'm gonna be OK x<br />
<br />
<br />Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13341869068636481877noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7794081535805152139.post-68598793347285648832016-03-20T15:55:00.003-07:002016-03-20T17:07:13.043-07:00The startPlease note I got a D in English...<br />
<br />
To be fair I hate people who blog, I consider them massive wankers who don't find Facebook status enough or get really frustrated they're only allowed 120 characters on Twitter.<br />
<br />
However this blog isn't to share my opinion on something, its basically to you the facts so I don't have to repeat it over and over when I'm literally trying to live a 'normal' life.<br />
<br />
I'm 26, healthy (well was), had the dream job and cracking life because on a daily basis I got to hang around with awesome people (Skiddle lot especially). This all recently changed, after going into GP with heart burn several times, my GP decided to send me for every type of blood test going only to find the results were of an 80 year old man. Liver, kidneys, bleeding on the stomach, anaemic and no vitamin D. This resulted in going to get a camera down my throat to inspect my stomach on the off chance I might have stomach ulcers, unfortunately for me they found a large tumor on the entrance to my stomach at the end of my oesophagus.<br />
<br />
Further down the line I had a CT scan which they found the cancer aggressively had spread to my lungs, liver, kidneys and stomach. Which is impossible to operate on.<br />
<br />
This lead to visit at Christies in Manchester with two top consultants, which i'll never forget. They opened the conversation with "do you want to know the full facts, or the 'soft' version?" - me being me, wanted to know it, all which then their second sentence out of their mouth was life span is 16 months based on 80 year old man, 24 months based on my age if it goes well.<br />
<br />
Yes, I had just been told in 3 minutes that I could possibly not live till I'm 30, not have children, not be able to fulfil my all time dream of knocking Micheal Eavis off his high horse and putting on a better festival than him (it's nice to dream).<br />
<br />
The next step, chemo - its done in courses, a course is 3 weeks. It starts with a full day in Christie's getting all sorts of drugs pumped into you on a drip, painless but boring then followed by course of shit loads of funny looking tablets for 14 days after wards. I've been told I have to do 3 courses in total (9 weeks) then I go back in for a CT scan to measure the effect its had on my cancer cells.<br />
<br />
I forgot to mention at this point, I'm got some rare cancer which isn't curable and very hard to treat, its only because I have some strange gene called HER2 (Don't go googling it) that they possibly slow it down, but who knows, this whole process is a test, each day, each week.<br />
<br />
I've been at rock bottom, depressed and asked my self on many occasions whats the point but the thing thats keeping me alive in my eyes isn't the chemo because unfortunately till a consultant tell me other wise. My story doesn't have a happy ending. What I DO have, is my incredible family and friends, that what keeping me going, each hour, each day. Not forgetting my incredible girl friend, Naomi.<br />
<br />
One of the reasons I writing this though it, is really asking, when you talk to me, talk to me at Glaba, Chris, C#nt, Sh#t head, whatever your nick name was for me.... but please don't talk to me at Chris with Cancer its too hard for me to hear over and over and it destroys me inside. The drugs, the pain, the tiredness is already a reminder.<br />
<br />
I know everyone means well, and everyone of you, you know who you all are, I'm smiling now, because of you, you lot. So I 100% appreciate it, please don't think I'm being rude.<br />
<br />
So this blog really will be used for medical updates, its not going to be writing my lows and my highs or what I had for breakfast.<br />
<br />
I hope you don't think I'm being rude really, please don't, I just want a bit of normality back in my social life that's all.<br />
<br />
Thank you, thank you for taking the time to read my story, now I'm gonna pop my chemo pills and have a little dash of morphine to go with it and watch coronation street omnibus - <i>isn't that pat a wanker!</i><br />
<i><br /></i>
<i>P.s Vote for Sally Wesbter </i><br />
<br />
<i>P.p.s Back in Christies next week with the consultant, I'll write an update on here to keep you posted.</i><br />
<i><br /></i>
I hope I don't sound like a wanker, I'd just rather let people know this way.<br />
<br />Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13341869068636481877noreply@blogger.com0