Monday 17 October 2016

Can I borrow £20 quid mate? I'll pay you back in 3/4 months, promise.

Not sure where really to start. You always got told in school you need a start, middle and end. I'm going to break the rules and skip to the end.

This chemotherapy has knocked me for six. Bed bound for a couple of days. They sent me home with white blood cell boosters to fight it a little the chemo side effects, however they only really gave me major side effect such growing pains and achy joints, so that one sort of back fired.

I'm now bald, lost my hair and lucky not my eyebrows -  that would be like Alan Partridge losing Lynn - never going to happen. Yes it true, you lose you pubes first which has lead my mum telling me  was a tramp and should rinse the bath out after I used it, it got that bad.

I quite often get fevers, temperature all over the place which is highly critical on chemo - just need to monitor my temperature all the time really.

I struggle even more walking distances, so UBER is now my new best friend.

So, now latest visit to Christies today didn't go so well. I think the best way to explain this is in a list;

1) Bloods are fine, neither here or there - they generally can't tell to much
2) Due to my 'quality of life' being poor, the consultant has suggest to take a two week break from all chemo.
3) Once completed my 2 week break go back for a CT Scan
4) Finish the last course of this chemo, so would be a totally of 3/3 I've done then
5) Wait for results from the CT Scan... now just go with me on this... it would be a miracle that the cancer gets any better. 

A MIRACLE. an extraordinary and welcome event that is not explicable by natural or scientific laws and is therefore attributed to a divine agency.

5) Then we go onto three options available to me, ONE another type of chemo, again very brutal or TWO trial drug which COULD be a placebo due to the stage it is at in clinical trials. THREE - stop chemo and not suffer with a poor quality of life anymore.

Which ever route 1,2 or 3.... will only extend my life 3 months + the length of chemo. I need to have  think first; this quality of life is pretty poor/shit and I'm currently thinking of no longer doing the chemo.

So yes, my predicted life time now is 3-4 months left in me.
Shit news I know but you can look at this two ways, fucking crack on, meet and see all of you as much as I can or sit in my bed act all depressed and do nothing with what I have left.

So come on, lets go for a beer. I'll get you back in 5 months I promise....

P.S Please don't cry if you see me, it sets me off.


Always available for a hug.
Yours,
Glaba
 

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